June 28th – Monday

So today was worse than most lately. Thankfully my hand is still doing well, and not going numb; my shoulder, however, hurt like a fucking bitch today.

I was frustrated all day and had to leave work early. Sometimes i just can’t deal with the pain and need to lay down, something i don’t think many people can comprehend much less understand.

I have two doctors appointment tomorrow, with Dr. Hansen and Dr. Burkhead. Hopefully 24 hours from now i’ll have a better idea of what i need done and when it’ll happen.

June 26th – My Birthday

Well today has been a bit better than most, my hand hasn’t been numb for almost a week so i’ve been able to do some painting and drawing, i’ve also worked on the new website some more.

My shoulderblade has been bothering me tho, it seems when my arm doesn’t ache or tingle it transfers to my shoulderblade. I have a sharp pain over the spot where your shoulderblade and collarbone connect.

The sharp pains in my bicep have subsided today as well, i think they get worse whenever i lift heavy objects, but i’ll hafta pay closer attention to find out for sure.

All in all not a bad day, and easily made better by pain killers … happy birthday to me.

June 24th – Dr. Bonnett

So i went to see doctor Bonnet yesterday, an orthopedic surgeon recommended by a co-worker who had a clavicle resection. He seemed nice enough and had a good disposition, and genuinely seemed to want to help.

I could hear him outside looking thru my chart and x-rays, he musta’ been out there a good 5 minutes, flipping back and forth.

The first thing he said when he walked in was “Sound like you’ve been thru hell this past year!” And i’m thinking in my head, “wow, you’re the first doc to really notice that.”

I went thru the usual steps with a new doc, describing the history and symptoms. And he retorts with all the things that could be wrong, “pinched nerve, carppel tunnel, cubbital tunnel, Thoracic Outlet, Nerve Damage, Brain Tumor.”

All my symptoms seem to point to nerve damage, although it’s random and intermittent, and nerve damage is usually pretty bad consistently. Also, every doctor, including this one, says if it WAS nerve damage, it would have been bad to BEGIN with, and would have gotten better this past year, adn not worse.

SO i asked him what he thought was wrong and what i should do. And he goes … “well, usually i would send you to a shoulder specialist, a really good doctor by the name of dr. Hansen downtown.” It would figure that he is already my doctor and seems just as stumped.

So he reassured me that a clavicle resection wouldn’t disable me, and would be fairly painless and routine, all things considered. He did also say however, that it probably has nothing to do with my hand and shoulderblade. It may help my clavicle and the pain in my bicep, but who knows what it might make worse. I’m just so damn scared of having another surgery.

So as i’m leaving, Dr Bonnett shakes my hand and goes. “You’re a very interesting man with a very interesting case. If you don’t mind i’ld like to call Dr. Hansen and discuss you’re case with him to try and get to the bottom of it.”

I said “sure, please feel free to do whatever you think will help.”

So i called Dr Hansen again and have an appointment This coming Tuesday. I’m still no closer to figuring out what’s really wrong; it could be a multitude of possibilities.

At least my hand isn’t numb today, ahhh the joy of unpredictability.

I think now would be a good time to draw…

the story thus far

So, I opted not to have the initial surgery, as 90% of most patients due. For the most part, collarbones heal back normally with little treatment.

What I didn’t know then is that there are 3 types of collarbone breaks, based on the area broken, along with subset of each category. Turns out I had a type 2 distal clavicle fracture, the one that just so happens to have the most complications. It’s basically the worst kind of collarbone break you can get, completely breaking the distal end off, while tearing and separating the ligaments that hold your shoulder together.

Your collarbone acts like an axle and a crank a the same time, the slightest movement of your arm can send the outside end, or distal end, of you’re clavicle not only up, but twisting and rotating as well. As you can imagine this isn’t very conducive to bone healing. I wish I would have know this earlier.

Most people don’t realize it, but you’re arm has no bony attachment to your body. You have a knee joint and a hip joint, but you have no shoulder joint. I know what you’re saying to yourself … “Then how can someone dislocate his or her shoulder?”

Well here’s how!

You can actually dislocate you’re shoulder BECA– USE there are no bony attachments. The end of your Humorous, or upper arm bone, rests inside you’re rotator cuff, which is a modified ball and socket joint comprised entirely of muscle and ligament. So once you pop it out once, you’ve stretched out those muscles, and are usually prone to do it again

So 6 weeks go by and they say I can take the sling off, I was still very weak and sore, but managed to slowly increase my activity. About 12 weeks went by and I got the go ahead to start drumming again, something I was dying to do.

I wish now I wouldn’t have. After a couple months of playing and trying to rehab my arm through drumming, I began to notice I would get fatigued very quickly, and I couldn’t really do any overhead activity with my arm. So I go back to my doctor.

Turns out the bones never healed back, and the only thing keeping them from rubbing against each other, while causing great pain, was a small sac of fluid and scar tissue between them.

Now most doctors use surgery as a last resort, and I completely understand why. Needless to say I went through my fair share of physical therapy and home exercising. After a few months I began to develop severe back pain. After much deliberation I decided to have an OR-IF.

At first the results we’re good, and I progressed slowly but surely. About 4 month into recovery, I started developing numbness and tingling in my hand and forearm. I woke up one morning and the pain was unbearable. I immediately made an appointment to see my doctor, who seems very uninterested in helping me in any way, he seemed to think the pain was in my head, or that I was exaggerating.

It took 4 different doctors until I found one willing to REALLY help me, and to take me seriously. I currently have a very low opinion of medical professionals.

So that’s the story thus far, I live with pain and numbness is my hand and shoulder on a daily basis, and this is how I get out my thoughts, feeling, and frustrations. Hopefully it will be midly entertaining while serving to help and educate those who suffer the same fate.

My one piece of advice to everyone is to stay positive. As corny as it sounds, you can only feel as good as you let yourself. It’s your body, listen to it and take control of it. That, and don’t be afraid of doctors, a lot of them know a lot less than you do I can assure you.

an introduction

An introduction
On May 4th, 2003, I broke my collarbone. Not an uncommon accident. Collarbone fractures account for more than a third of all broken bones.

I was riding a new ATV. It flipped, and landed on ym shoulder. 500+ pounds of machinery falling backwards, pinning me to the ground, snapping the end off of mt collarbone.

My friend Bruce had to pull it off of me, I was pinned and good. I stood up and miraculously I could walk, I could breathe, I was OK.

Then my shoulder and arm went kinna’ fuzzy, and the pain kicked in. It hurt so bad I fell down.

My parents drove me to the ER, and I was x-rayed, diagnosed with a broken clavicle, and sent home with a sling, with orders to see my orthopedist first thing Monday.

So I go to see the doctor and get the usual shpeal, let it heal, it will most likely be fine. He told me there was an option to do a surgery, to lasso the bones together to ensure healing, I was so scared of surgery I declined, and that has haunted me ever since.

Had I had that small operation then I wouldn’t be in this situation.

My personal advice to anyone who ever breaks there collarbone, HAVE THE OPERATION. It’s not TOO invasive, and will keep you from having a titanium plate installed later.

Next: The Story Thus Far